InsaneJournal

Art: "Five Minutes to Matlock" (H/D, NC-17)
I have drawn art. It took me minutes hours and hours to make it look not totally crappy perfect. Please enjoy.

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Title: Five Minutes to Matlock
Artist: sulky_rhino
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Characters - not mine. Money – not making any. Infringement – not intended.
Dedication: To Livejournal. Thank you for giving me inspiration for this piece. If it weren't for you I'd never have done it! :D (And aren't you happy about that? :P)

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(click to see it bigger)

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Notes, or explanations for those that don't know art when it's right in front of them: While I was drawing this piece, my biggest concern was not to hurt anybody's sensibilities. As most of you probably know, there are two main concerns on the part of Livejournal when it comes to art. The first one is that the characters we draw often resemble minors, or in fact are minors. Because I didn't want people to think I was molesting imaginary characters to offend anybody, I have followed the suggestions made in pushdragon's post on how to make sure that the characters portrayed in the art cannot be mistaken for minors.

Here are the suggestions made in her posts:
* driver's licences visible in the art - in both Harry's and Draco's hands.
* setting conveying old age - see Moonwalker 3000 belonging to Harry and a framed picture of Matlock belonging to Draco on the wall.
* characters have beards - both of them have beards. Also see Draco's awesome mustache, and lack of hair on his head, implying that this scene took place years after the Epilogue in Deathly Hallows and his receding hairline.
* characters have wisdom teeth - Draco's wisdom teeth are visible. Harry's aren't, however, because he doesn't have teeth anymore.
* daffodils - lots of them.

The second concern on the part of Livejournal was the artistic merit of the art we create. Yes, it's difficult to decide what's art and what isn't, but I have done virtually no extensive research and found criteria which will help people understand that what I have drawn is, indeed, art. I will give these criteria an incredibly clever name: Fred Colon and Nobby Nobb's criteria for establishing when nude people are art and when they aren't**. These criteria should be easily understood by even the most common person (and Fred and Nobby are as common as you can get), so even Livejournal won't have problems with them.

Fred Colon and Nobby Nobb's criteria for establishing when nude people are art and when they aren't
When you have problems determining whether something is art or not, ask yourself the following questions:
* Is there an urn in it?
* Is there a plinth in it?
* Is the number of i's in the artist's name greater than two?
* Is there a cherub somewhere in the piece?
If at least one of the answers to these questions is yes, then congratulations! You can spends hours and hours drooling at admiring the piece, without worrying that people will think you're a pervert.

As you can see, a lot of thought was put into this piece, so I hope that you'll all give it the admiration it deserves. :P

** this wisdom was found in Thud! on pages 47-78, written by T. Pratchett.